If You Really Knew Me
by JazaraRose
Summary: In Shikon High everyone has their secrets and everyone has their drama. Take a peek into the lives of Kagome and Inuyasha, best friends who's feelings for each other could tear them apart or bring them together.
1. Kagome

**Chapter 1: Kagome**

* * *

><p>In the big city of Tokyo, Japan it's easy to become invisible, to blend in with the crowd, especially at my school. My name is Kagome Higurashi and I'm an eighteen year old senior at Shikon High. I have a few close friends ,Sango, who's like a sister to me, Miroku, a total but lovable perv, shippo, the baby, and lastly my best friend Inuyasha. When we first met he didn't like me very much. I reminded him of something painful from his past, something he lost, or more like <em>someone. <em>

It's hard being stuck someone's shadow. Constantly having to ask yourself if he was looking at _you_ or _her._

Was he smiling at _you_ or _her?_ It hurts that it's probably not _you_ that he's holding and laughing with. That no matter what you do _she'll_ always be on the forefront of his mind. Though as time went on and Inuyasha and I grew closer, and I learned to ignore the hurt.

I loved him. I've always loved him, and I'm pretty sure I always will.

Ever since the night we met in the park the summer of our freshman year.

* * *

><p><strong><em>Flashback<em>**

It was just starting to get dark when Kagome thought it would be a good time to go home. She had been at the park almost all day. It was nice out during the day, even now in early evening it was still quite warm. Lost in her thoughts she continued to walked by the swing sets and play structures when something out the corner of her eye caught her attention. Her head turned to the right and she saw a person she recognized from school. A was boy sitting alone on the bench under the Sakura trees with his head down. She unconsciously moved forward, and as she got closer to the boy she could start to make out his facial features, ones she couldn't see from her previous distance. His shoulders were slumped, and his silver locks blew in his face from the light breeze. He looked so sad.

"Um, excuse me?" She said in an unsure voice. "Are you alright?" She started again.

"I'm fine. Go away." Said the boy in a gruff tone.

"Are you sure? It's getting pretty late, do you need a way to get home?" She asked.

"Are you deaf you stupid girl? I said leave me al-!" As soon as his head snapped up he trailed off, the anger in his eyes subsiding as they glazed over and a new emotion appeared.

"Kikyou?" he breathed, barely a whisper.

"Uh no… my name's Kagome, you're Inuyasha right? I remember you from last year." I said smiling, and my hand out for him to take. He continued to stare at me with this far away expression. It seemed as if he was confused. Like telling him I wasn't this Kikyou person was like saying the sun was purple and the sky orange. His gaze became scrutinizing and uncomfortable. I shifted my weight from right to left. When I looked at him again I could see all the different emotions swimming in his beautiful Golden eyes.

Pain. Sorrow. Anger, just to name a few.

When I looked down I saw the picture he held in his rough hands. I didn't want to seem nosey but curiosity got the better of me.

"What's that?" I asked.

"None of your damn business!" he shouted at me hiding the picture behind his back.

"Geez I was just asking! No need to bite my head off!" I shouted right back. Was it so wrong to try and start a conversation? Apparently with Inuyasha, it was.

"Well maybe if you didn't go stickin' your nose where it didn't belong I wouldn't have!" Was he serious? Was he really that upset I asked him about a picture?

"Fine you jerk! I was only trying to find out why you looked so upset!" Spinning on my heels I stormed away from him, out of the park, and in the direction of my house.

It pissed me off even more that he was on my mind the entire time.

**_End Flashback_**

* * *

><p>Two months later when school started I found out he was in almost all my classes.<p>

Great.

It seemed we would always get paired for things. Did the Kami hate me that much? All year he continued to be a jerk. He would make fun of me and call me names 'wench' being one of his personal favorites.

The summer of our sophomore year I saw him again. In the same park, on the same bench, underneath the same Sakura trees, with the same photo in his hand. I boldly walked towards him, but this time I didn't speak to him. I simply sat down next to him on the bench. I'll admit it was a little awkward, but finally he spoke.

* * *

><p><strong><em>Flashback<em>**

"What are you doing?" He asked.

"Nothing." I replied. Now that wasn't too hard. I looked off into the night sky looking at the brightly shining stars. I could feel his eyes on me. Looking at me from head to toe but still I looked toward the sky. His gaze was heated and I could feel the warm blush creeping onto my cheeks. I thought he was looking right through me, trying to see deep inside me and into my mind.

"Why are you staring at me?" Finally not being able to stand the inspection.

"Keh, I'm not wench!" he said defensively. He turned his head quickly to hide his blush.

He didn't turn his head quickly enough.

I looked down at the photo in his hands and I swear I almost fell off the bench. In the picture Inuyasha was smiling and laughing holding a slim girl around the waist. She had a small smile on her face and her eyes were filled with such happiness. The girl had perfectly pale skin that looked smooth to the touch. Her hair was long and as Black as a night sky with no moon. Said waist length hair was pulled back into a low ponytail, exposing her slightly narrow brown eyes. She looked exactly like me!

The same porcelain skin, the same raven hair and even the chocolate brown eyes were the same. There were a few key differences though but they were slight, hardly noticeable. My hair was thick and uncontrollable, my eyes were wider and lighter, you could see the sorrow in her eyes underneath that happiness, and the pain she seemed to carry made her look a lot older than she was.

"W-Who is she?" I asked still shocked by our uncanny resemblance.

"My ex girlfriend." He said. It would be an understatement to say I was shocked by his easy confession. I was expecting him to snap at me like the last time I asked him about the picture. I was ready for another 'none of your damn business!'

"We look so much alike." I didn't mean to say that. I don't know why I did. I also don't know why Inuyasha replied.

"I know." There was so much pain in those two words. I involuntarily moved closer to him. I wanted to comfort him. To make his pain go away.

"What happened to her?" I instantly regretted asking that question. Now he would think I was being nosey again. He was going to shut me out again. For some reason this made me afraid. I didn't want him to walk away from me.

I wanted to help him.

He looked up and our eyes met. There was so much sadness in his weary gaze. The street lamp above us illuminated the tears in his eyes I knew he was too proud to shed. We kept staring, searching for something, anything that would make us turn away. I was looking for the truth, but Inuyasha…he was was looking for trust.

"Inuyasha you can tell me." I said quietly, gently placing my hand on his arm. He looked down at the photo again.

"You won't understand." I could tell he didn't believe that. No matter what he said, he wanted me to understand. He knew I would. He didn't want to go through this pain alone. I didn't want him to either.

"Try me." I looked straight into his eyes, staring at my reflection in his golden gaze. Trying to prove to him that I was worthy of his secret…of his trust. Why did I want this so badly? That was a question I couldn't answer. I just felt this connection, this pull in the back of my mind telling me I needed to heal the wounds in his heart.

"Kikyou." he suddenly spoke, shaking me from my thoughts.

"What?" I asked dumbly. I was slightly blushing at being caught not paying attention.

"My girlfriend," he paused taking a deep breath, "her name was Kikyou."

Was? As in past tense? As in no longer…Oh god, Inuyasha just what happened to you?

"Was?" I honestly feared the answer to this next question.

"She committed suicide two years ago." Inuyasha's voice shook with emotion. I wrapped my arms around him and pressed my face into the side of his neck.

"Oh Inuyasha I'm so sorry, tell me everything." I slowly released my arms from around his neck, letting my hands glide down his toned arms to rest in his much bigger hands. I gave him a light squeeze to reassure him that I was there and ready to listen. He squeezed back and began his story.

"I've always been alone," he started, "my parents died when I was young, so I was sent to live my older brother Sesshomaru...we never really got along."

"She was the only one who would play with me at recess. The only one who acknowledged me. We became fast friends and the more time we spent together, the more I started to love her. And I was pretty sure she was falling for me too." For some strange reason when Inuyasha said he loved her I got this awful feeling. My stomach twisted and I felt my heart skip a painful beat. I couldn't place this unwelcome emotion but I chose to ignore it.

"I asked her to be my girlfriend in second grade. We went out on 'dates' too, on our first date we had a contest to see who could swing the highest." I chuckled a little. I couldn't help it. It's just too cute. He playfully glared at me and continued on.

"She had a little sister named Keade and they were really close. From what Kikyou had told me they never really knew their parents. They lived with their grandmother Midoriko." He squeezed my hand again.

"The beginning of sixth grade year Keade and Midoriko got into a bad car accident. Midoriko died instantly, but Keade was stuck in a coma for the rest of that year and seventh grade year. My heart was pounding and my throat tightened.

How much suffering can one person endure like that?

"Because Kikyou's grandmother was gone she had to become the sole guardian over Keade. At the start of eight grade year she told the doctors to take Keade off life support. After that Kikyo was a mess. She barely ate or slept. She started missing a lot of school and eventually her grades began to slip. I tried to be there for her, I mean I loved her, but she didn't want me near her. I would go to her house and she would yell for me to go away, or scream about how much she didn't wanna see me." His eyes took on that sheen of tears again, tears that could not be cried. I moved closer to him, our shoulders and knees touching.

"Then one day I went to check on her after school. I knocked on the door and when no one answered I became worried, she didn't even yell. I used the spare key she had given me to get in. I walked throughout the house calling her name but the whole house was still. I could just feel the despair and sadness everywhere. It was horrible." Another squeeze on my hand had me bracing myself for another painful part to this tragic story.

"I walked into her room last, and that's where I found her. She was on her bed with an empty bottle of pills still clutched in her hand. I called 911 but I knew it was too late. She was gone." Inuyasha began to shake, trying to keep his pent up feelings in check.

"It's okay Inuyasha." I soothed. He turned to me with tears running down his face. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled his head to rest on my shoulder. His arms slowly wrapped around my waist, and we stayed liked that for what seemed like forever. When we pulled apart we looked into each others' eyes for the hundredth time that night.

"Thank you Kagome. I.. I really needed this." he said with a small smile adorning his handsome face. And that's when it all started.

_**End Flashback**_

* * *

><p>"We became close. Eventually best friends. The more time we spent together the harder I fell, and that was two years ago. But that's all he sees me as, a friend. Sometimes I wonder when he looks at me does he see <em>me? <em>Or Kikyou? When he hugs me, holds my hand, or calls me late at night is he using me to fill the void that Kikyou left? At the start of our friendship he used compare me to Kikyou sometimes. I even remember him calling me her name once. It hurts. It hurts so much." I dropped my head into my hands and cried my eyes out. I felt someone gently touch my back.

I looked at my close friend Sango. She was rubbing soothing circles on my spine. I looked up to the people in my challenge day group. They shared the same looks of pity and sorrow that I'd grown accustomed to.

I took a deep breathe to regain my composure. "If you really knew me you'd know that it sucks being unimportant to the person who's most important to you.

* * *

><p><strong>So this is an old story that I decided to touch up and re-upload<strong>

**Based of the show called If You Really Knew Me on MTV**

**It'll probably be a 3 part series**

**I hoped you enjoyed it and don't forget to...**

**REVIEW!**


	2. Inuyasha

**Chapter 2: ****Inuyasha**

* * *

><p>Do you know what it's like to be completely alone? Not "my parents went out of town for the weekend" kind of alone, or the "my friends are busy and can't hang out" kind of alone. I'm talking about the "no matter where you look or where you go no one will ever be by your side" kind of alone. My name is Inuyasha and I'm a senior at Shikon High. I only have a couple people that I can rely on; my lecher of a friend Miroku, the girl he's madly in love with Sango, the twerp Shippo, and last but not least my best friend Kagome Higurashi. I won't lie, I hated her when we first met. It had nothing to do with how she acted or the way she treated me, but simply because I hated the way she looked.<p>

I hated the feelings that she stirred in me just by looking in my direction. She reminded me of the hurt and pain I tried so hard to bury within myself, so for that reason alone I despised her.

I made it my mission in life to let her know how much I disliked her. I called her names and made fun of her on a regular basis.

Yes, I know I'm a jerk but it was the only way I knew how to keep her at a comfortable, unfriendly distance. After Kikyou, I refused to let anyone else close to me, or close to my heart.

Though, slowly but surely, Kagome began to worm her way into my life. She always had a knack for sticking her nose in places were it didn't belong.

It all started the summer of our freshman year, when she found me sitting alone in the park.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Flashback<strong>_

He'd been here since early afternoon sitting on the small wooden bench underneath the beautiful Sakura trees. The sun was now starting to set and the summer heat had barely let up.

_'She loved the Sakura trees and the warm weather.'_ Inuyasha thought gloomily. Staring at the photo in his hands a ghost of a smile passed over his lips. It wasn't fair. She was his angel and the kami took her away. Did they dislike him that much? Had an incarnation of his done something so terrible to earn this bad karma?

So caught up in his thoughts Inuyasha never noticed the girl walking towards him until she spoke.

"Um excuse me, are you alright?" Came the soft voice.

"I'm fine. Go away." Hopefully his gruff tone would scare her off. All he wanted to do was be alone but of course he couldn't be that lucky.

"Are you sure? It's getting pretty late, do you have a way to get home?" Why the hell was she still standing here? Couldn't she take a hint?

"Are you deaf you stupid girl? I said leave me al-!" When I looked up to chew her head off I got the shock of my life. Kikyou was standing right here in front of me. For a second I was happy, and even convinced myself that the Kami were merciful after all.

"Kikyou?" I whispered, if this is a dream please don't let me wake up.

"Uh no. My name's Kagome, you're Inuyasha right? I remember you from last year." It felt like someone had dumped a bucket of ice water over my head. I could only stare at her, the longer I looked the more apparent it became that this wasn't Kikyou. This girl's hair was too wavy, her eyes too big and the shade of brown was all wrong, her skin wasn't pale enough, and she was too happy.

I saw her eyes move towards the photo in my hands and unconsciously I clutched it tighter.

"What's that?" she asked. Who the hell did this Kagome think she was? First she interrupts my peace by asking me dumbass questions, now she's prying into my business? Before I could hold my tongue I snapped at her.

"None of your damn business!" I could see the small stab of hurt in her eyes and for a second I wanted to apologize, then that hurt turned into anger.

"Geez I was just asking! No need to bite my head off!"

"Well maybe if you didn't go stickin' your nose where it didn't belong I wouldn't have!" God why was she so irritating?

"Fine you jerk! I was only trying to find out why you looked so upset!" Spinning on her heel Kagome stomped off out of the park. I sighed to myself and rubbed my temples.

The stupid girl had given me a headache, and thinking about her my whole way definitely hadn't helped.

_**End Flashback**_

* * *

><p>When school came rolling around I found that Kagome was in almost all my classes.<p>

Someone shoot me now.

It didn't help that the teachers always made us partners for shit. Just another way for the Kami to torture me. I didn't forget that night in the park and I vowed to make her school year a living hell. Let's just say it was payback.

At least that's how I justified it to myself.

The summer of our sophmore year she found me again. In the same park, on the same bench, underneath the same Sakura trees, and the same photo in my hands. This time I could feel her coming towards me, and I promised myself no matter what I would not acknowledge her. But instead of her barraging me with annoying questions she simply sat down next to me. After minutes of sitting in silence the tension was starting to eat away at me, so I spoke.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Flashback<strong>_

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"Nothing." she answered smoothly. She turned her head to the setting sky. The sun hit her just right and I could see the natural blue highlights in her dark hair. I didn't want to admit it but Kagome was pretty, really pretty actually. I couldn't help myself from staring. How could I have mistaken her for Kikyou? Being able to look at Kagome so closely I could see the resemblance , but I could also see the differences.

"Why are you staring at me?" Her voice snapped me out of my thoughts and I yelled at her to cover up my embarrassment.

"Keh! I'm not wench!" I turned my head quickly, because blushing was not manly.

Damn. I think she saw it.

When she didn't speak I looked up to see her staring at my photo with wide eyes. I looked down and my eyes clouded over. We looked so happy back then...Kikyou and I. I thought we'd be together forever. I believed nothing could tear us apart. I just wish she would have trusted me more with her problems. I wish she would have let me help her.

"W-Who is she?" Kagome stuttered out.

"My ex girlfriend." I surprised myself by how easily that had come out of my mouth. None of this was her business. I didn't want her to know about my past. So why hadn't I pulled the photo away yet? Why did it feel like deep down in my heart I knew that I could trust her?

Kagome what are you doing to me?

"We look so much alike." That one statement cut me to the core. This is why I couldn't help but be a jerk to her. Because she looked like Kikyou, and looking at her everyday, being next to her, and having to work with her...it hurt. Maybe if I said the right thing, if I was mean enough then she'd go away.

"I know." I did it. I said it out loud and I tried my hardest to hold back a wave of tears. I looked into Kagome's eyes and prayed that she had what I needed. Trust, understanding, hope. If I found even the slightest hint of doubt I would turn away. I felt her move closer to me.

"What happened to her?" She immediately tensed. Was she afraid? Every fiber of my being screamed to tell her the truth. To lift this burden from my shoulders.

So many years I've been alone and hurting. I needed someone...I needed Kagome.

"Inuyasha you can tell me." She gently placed her hand on my arm and I almost crumbled.

"You won't understand." But God did I want her to. I've been in this hell for so long, maybe Kagome was here to save me.

_Please._

"Try me." Her brown eyes met with mine and I searched long and hard before making my decision.

"Kikyou."

"What?" she asked caught off guard.

"My girlfriend," I paused and took a deep breath...this was it, "her name was Kikyou."

Kagome would be my road to salvation.

_**End Flashback**_

* * *

><p>"I told her everything that day. She's my best friend and I can't see myself without her. I...I love her. I've hurt her so much over the years, from comparing her to Kikyou to even calling her by her name once. I don't mean to, it's just hard. I know that it hurts her but it's never been my intention, I need Kagome. She takes the pain away and with her by my side I know that I'll never be alone again. I hated being alone. Kikyou will always have a special place in my heart but Kagome means so much to me. But she doesn't see that, and I don't know how to make her see it."<p>

Inuyasha swallowed the lump forming in his throat; His voice cracking with emotion. Miroku gently patted his shoulder letting his friend know that he was strong enough to get through this.

He looked into the eyes of his fellow challenge day group members waiting for him to finish his story.

"If you really knew me you'd now that it's hard watching the one love being hurt, and knowing that it's all your fault.."

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 2 is totally in Inuyasha's POV<strong>

**hope you enjoyed it**

**Please REVIEW!**


	3. An Apology Owed

**Chapter 3: An Apology Owed**

* * *

><p>"Okay everyone we'd like to give anyone, who wants to, the chance to step to the mic. You can say anything you want without fear of judgement. You can say how your day went today, or make an apology to an old friend, anything you want." The challenge day instructor said.<p>

Many people raised their hands to speak. They spoke about how today had changed their lives, how today opened their eyes, and how they promised to be better from now on. Old friends reconnected and bitter enemies came to a truce. No matter who you were, or where you came from, it was easy to tell that everyone had be effected by challenge day.

Kagome's eyes watered as some people decided to share their stories with the whole group. There were so many kids in her school who struggled everyday just to get up in the morning, and it made her sad that she never noticed. When she took her turn she promised to be there for anyone who needed it.

"Alright everyone send your love and attention to this young man right here." Kagome was a little shocked to see Inuyasha standing there.

"Now what would you like to say?"

"I...uh would like make an apology." He said sheepishly.

"To who?"

"Kagome Higurashi." Inuyasha walked over to her group and asked her to stand up. He hadn't said anything yet and she was already blushing. She hated having everyone watching her.

"First I wanna apologize for doing this in front of everyone. I know you don't like the attention, but I didn't wanna lose my nerve." She smiled slightly and he took a deep breath to calm himself.

"I know I wasn't the nicest to you when we first met. I actually borderline hated you, but you stuck by me. Even today I don't understand why, so instead of trying to understand I'll just say thank you. Thank you being there anytime I needed you. For making me see that my life had meaning again. After I lost Kikyou I didn't know what to do with myself. You saved me Kagome. I'll never forget that, and I'll always be eternally grateful for it."

She gave him a watery smile in return. His eyes became intense and he grasped her hand giving it a gentle squeeze. Her cheeks darkened as he continued to stare at her. It was like he was staring right into her soul. Her heart began to race, and it reminded her of that summer long ago, when Inuyasha had first confided in her.

"Kagome, I want to apologize for not being a good friend to you. I've never done anything to deserve all the kindness you've shown me. I always end up upsetting you or hurting your feelings, and I really don't mean to. I know I've...screwed up with you where Kikyou is concerned. I don't wanna lie to you and tell you that I've completely forgotten about her, or that I never miss her. But I do want you to know that if it wasn't for you I wouldn't be the person I am today. I'm sorry if I ever made you feel second best to Kikyou. I'm sorry for making you think that Kikyou was more important than you, because that isn't true. I don't think I'll ever be able to apologize enough for the things I've done, but from now on I promise to show you everyday how much you mean to me."

Tears ran down her cheeks as her arms came around his neck for a warm embrace.

"Thank you for this Inuyasha. You'll never understand how much this means to me. You're my best friend and I'll always be there for you. No matter what." Kagome smiled at him and gave him another hug.

Before she pulled away she whispered in his ear, "I love you Inuyasha." His topaz eyes widened and stared at her. After a moment his features softened, and she could see the emotions swimming in his eyes. She knew he loved her too, but he couldn't say it yet. He was afraid, and she understood. So she just smiled and squeezed his hand, letting him know that everything was going to be alright.

For the first time in awhile Inuyasha genuinely smiled back at her.

Inuyasha watched her as she made her way back to her seat. She was perfection in every sense of the word to him. It made him happy to know that she'd never leave him. That she'd always be by his side, and he by hers. Maybe they could even be more than friends someday. Another smile tugged at his lips just at the thought.

_'One day Kagome. I'll be able to tell you...and show you, just how much I really do love you.'_

* * *

><p><strong>So I lost any motivation whatsoever to complete this story. Then I decided to read it, do a little editing, and complete it.<strong>

**For anyone still following this story I'm sorry for the long wait and that this chapter is so short. I tried to make it longer but it sounded too repetitive.**

**Please Review : )**


End file.
